I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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