the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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