we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
