Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So I just went to clothing optional bar
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
