I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
