I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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