i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
