my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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