Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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