Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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