"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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