On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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