Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I deserve this hangover.
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