The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
