you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The chlamydia really affected his face.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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