I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
