You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
