The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
