Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
