i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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