I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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