It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize