I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize