he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We got so high we made milksteak
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
