it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Randomize
