Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
