My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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