It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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