Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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