I could have mohawked her pubes.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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