new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
