It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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