Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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