By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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