Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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