And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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