The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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