Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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