i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
