If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
