If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
