Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i would punch a child for taco bell
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize