I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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