so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
