no, he came in my armpit
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
