Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
