he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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