if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
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I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
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I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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