What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
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He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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