His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
