Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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