After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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