i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
