i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
