did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
