absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
