I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
