BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
