Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize