You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
